Adulting sucks sometimes.

Music has always been a big part of my life. I hear a song and it can immediately take me back to a time, a place, a feeling. There are certain songs that I have to turn off if I hear them because of the memories I associate with them, even if they make no sense to other people. Michael Buble's Everything - a nice peppy song, right? I associate it with poor decisions. I pretty much love the whole of Sara Evans' Born To Fly album, but that one will always be associated with this one day I spent in Jacksonville, NC with the one that I thought was it for me before the PTSD after the initial invasion of Iraq in 2003 completely changed him. Talk Dirty to Me by Poison reminds me of this ridiculously fun summer I had, care free and probably more comfortable in my own skin than I had ever been, and wasn't again for may years after. 

In 2005, I had my first experience actually following a band around a little bit. I was living in Maine while my ship was being built, and there wasn't a ton to do, and I'd recently found the band Ingram Hill, and there were shows, so why not? I made some friends, discovered some more awesome independent and up and coming bands, went to a Jesse McCartney show, and drove way too many miles and hours. It was pretty fantastic.

In 2007, I translated that love of music into the most amazing vacation I've ever been on by going on my first Rock Boat. I've posted pretty extensively about that boat on this blog in the past, and the link to the website is on the side of my blog. It was introduced to me by some of the friends I made through Ingram Hill, and when one of them couldn't go, I took her spot on a whim. In the years since, I've done 8 more of them, as well as another cruise by the same company based on the old VH1 show Best Week Ever. I've made some of the best friends I have on that cruise, people that I can talk to about anything, and in reality without that cruise I probably wouldn't know my husband today. I mean, I didn't meet him on the cruise, but if I hadn't gone on the cruise I wouldn't know the friends that I made that convinced me that I should move to Atlanta after I got out of the Navy, and if I hadn't moved to Atlanta, I wouldn't know him. So there's that.

I missed last year's Rock Boat because it was so soon after B had been born. My husband and his mother told me that for XVII they would take care of him so I could go, so I booked at the first opportunity. Bonus, it goes out of Tampa, so no need to worry about driving to Miami or hotels or parking or any of the extra expenses.

Sadly, though, it looks like that isn't going to be enough. I'd been feeling a bit guilty for booking since I did it. We've had a bit of a tough year financially, primarily because of the issues we experienced with my older cat earlier this year (short version, around $3k in vet expenses that ultimately ended up not working, and we lost her in March). We are moving this fall when our lease is up. Finances are just generally tight. And I can't justify spending $1,000+ on just myself anymore. So it looks like I may have to cancel :(

It's not a 100% decision. If they announce a certain band prior to the deadline to cancel for a refund of all payments made so far, then I'll be relooking at the situation. But it's not looking positive right now. I hope to make it back some year in the near future, but for now, I have to be a responsible adult. And it sucks.

New Music! (Not mine. Yet.) (Well, a very teeny bit mine)

I've blogged many times about my good friend Amy Gerhartz and her awesome music. Well, she just put out a new Acoustic album (aptly titled Acoustic), and it's AWESOME. And yes, there's a tiny bit of bias in there because she's a friend, and also because I helped her write the song Too Young :)

You can check it out here on Amazon MP3 and here on iTunes.

I'm super proud of Amy and all of the hard work she put into this album. Most of these songs were inspired by The Rock Boat, either the trip itself or ideas Rock Boaters suggested to her for songs. I highly suggest you all check it out!

I think we might have had a breakthrough

I used to write music all the time. I always had a notebook with me, or scraps of paper to write down lyrics I was thinking. I had books full of full songs, or random lyrics that I wanted to eventually return to and finish.

Somewhere, in the last couple of years, I lost that part of me. It's been a long time since I really wrote. I don't know what happened. May it was intimidation when I started dating my husband because he's such a talented musician. But he's not a lyricist or a singer, so why would I be intimidated? Maybe because I'm unsure that I'd ever be as talented as him? Maybe it's seeing some of my friends do so well with their music, and I don't think I'll ever get to where they are? Maybe I've just lost my touch? Maybe I'm just getting old, and can't find the words anymore? Maybe my happiness with husband has killed the pain that I used to draw on so often for lyrics?

Whatever it is, I'm hoping that it's finally going away. Husband has been bugging me for ages to write with him. We did, once, when we first started dating. I can't even remember the words to that song, or where I wrote them down. But the other day, drawing on the pain of some things that he's currently going through, and doing what he always does, picking up the guitar, he played a line that immediately gave me chills. Just two chords, one progression in the middle of a line that he was messing with, and I just stopped, and said I want to write to that. The power of just those two chords, with no lyrics to them yet, and not even paying attention to the rest of what was happening, it just struck something in me.

Last night, I finally said OK, no TV, just you, the guitar, me, a pen, and a notebook. Let's get writing. And we did. I don't think it's done yet, but we have a scratch recording on my phone, and probably a bridge and maybe one more verse to write, but it's coming along, and so far I'm really excited about it.

I hope this is what I needed to start writing again. Music is such a big part of my life, and writing has been my primary mode of expression since I was 12 years old. I've never been able to accompany myself or truly realize what I imagine my songs to be. But now I have no excuse - my husband is one of the most talented guitarists and writers I've ever met. DUH!

So here's to more writing, some recording, and renewing my love of the art. Wish me luck - both with the big picture and being able to read this later:

Kelly Clarkson and I should be friends, part 2

Oh Kelly, I am so jealous... from People

Despite original plans for an "earthy" outdoor fall wedding at home, the "Catch My Breath" singer, 31, revealed to PEOPLE on Wednesday, "We are so busy that we finally just came to terms the other night and were like, 'So, we change our minds and we want to elope.' We just got so overwhelmed by it – all the decisions."

Explains Clarkson: "We sent out a save-the-date to everyone and then it got crazy and all the details were leaking."

Not that I want to cancel our wedding and elope - we're SUPER excited about it, not to mention we've already spent a penny or two. But I just really like the way this girl thinks. She seems to be very real, with a good head on her shoulders, and she's consistently shown that ever since she won Idol way back. THAT is the kind of role model our girls should be looking up to - someone who will tell the media to F off when they start talking about her weight, and doesn't seem to think that the most important thing is how much media coverage she can get of her life or how much money she'll be able to get for her wedding pictures. More, please.

And I think I'm done talking about Kelly Clarkson, for now at least :)

Kelly Clarkson and I should be friends.

I read an article this morning (OK, maybe not really an article, it was in People) about Kelly Clarkson and how she's enjoying her new role as soon-to-be-stepmom to her fiance's two kids. A little further down, she was talking about her wedding planning, and I had one of those moments where I just say PHEW! I'm not alone!!

The Stronger singer has long made it clear she will be a laid-back bride, and it appears she's becoming increasingly blasé as the wedding draws near.

"I'm so over it. It's so overwhelming," she admitted to Seacrest. "We're just doing a lot: touring and the wedding and the Christmas album [out Oct. 29], so I'm over the wedding part."

Now granted, I don't have a tour coming up or a Christmas album about to drop, but this is EXACTLY how I feel about wedding planning. I'm a pretty laid back bride (in the words of one of my bridesmaids, "Rebecca, you could NEVER be a bridezilla"), and it looks like Kelly's wedding is only a couple weeks after mine. And she's probably also paid someone gobs of money to do most of the planning, whereas I'm doing most of mine myself.

But either way, I pretty much wish with all my heart that I had enough money to pay someone else to do the rest of this for me. There's not THAT much left to do, but I'm over the wedding planning and just ready for the wedding to be here already! I keep thinking I'm forgetting things, and having trouble making some of the final little detail decisions. Half of those final details are honestly things I could care less about, but that other people care about. You know, table decorations, etc.

And one of the biggest things I still have left to finish up is my playlist. I've got a pretty solid start, and my little sister is helping me out, but I would love some suggestions. Just for the party section - I think we've got the special stuff just about covered. Help me out a little here!

52 days to go...

Some things I get to be proud of

First, just to get it out of the way (and this is not included in the things I got to be proud of)... Anyone who's turned on a TV or picked up a newspaper or been on Facebook in the past few days knows that the conversation has been dominated by conversation about gay marriage. I blogged about my thoughts on this topic back in late 2010, and I don't feel the need to rehash those points again.

Now that that's out of the way, moving on to the REAL topic I wanted to talk about. Anyone who knows me or who has been reading this blog for any period of time knows that I'm a huge music nerd, always have been and probably always will be. I've also always sang, and written off and on for a large majority of my life. I took the "sensible route" and never really pursued singing, which I can't say I completely regret, but I definitely get that slight pang of jealousy when I see someone else on stage and think I should be doing that, and I definitely get a huge rush when I do get the chance to sing on a stage, even if its karaoke. For the most part, though, I'm OK with the fact that most of my singing will be done in my car. I have several friends, some closer than others, who took the giant leap and have pursued their dreams, and I love nothing more than the chance to help them do so and the feeling of pride I feel when they do well. I've two such opportunities this week that I want to share.

First of all, Tony Lucca came in 3rd place on the The Voice this week. I, along with I'd assume a good chunk of 10 year old girls in 1990, had a HUGE crush on Tony when he was on the Mickey Mouse Club, and when I first got to meet him in 2007, I had one of my very few star-struck moments. I've had the pleasure of getting to see Tony play many times since then, and, because he's the type of guy to do so, getting to know him a little bit as a fan as well. So I, along with many of my friends in the Rock Boat family, felt nothing short of huge amounts of pride not only with Tony's amazing run on the show, but also because of the amazing class he showed in dealing with the drama that was Christina Aguilera. If you haven't heard anything of Tony other than what you saw on the Voice, do yourself a favor and go get some of his original music. Its all on iTunes, and I think you can still find his latest album on noisetrade.com for free (with the option of paying what you want).

The other opportunity to be proud this week, while smaller in scale, was HUGE for me. When I met Amy Gerhartz back in 2005, she was playing coffee shops and restaurants in the Norfolk, VA area and working a day job at a music venue just waiting for the right show to convince her bosses to let her be the opening act. That chance came in December that year, when Jason Mraz and Better Than Ezra were playing. I was in the audience that night, and while I had met her once before, I fell in love with her music based on the short set she played. We became fast friends, even though within a few months both of us had moved out of the area - me to DC for the next Navy job, and Amy to New York in pursuit of her dreams. In the past seven years, I've watched Amy do everything she could to get herself out there. I've seen her play in seedy bars, do residencies in swanky NYC restaurants, move to Atlanta in hopes of breaking into the amazing independent scene there, work day jobs she hated to make ends meet, have deals and opportunities dangled in front of her only to have them not work out, but still continue on and grow in every possible way. Last spring, she released a five song EP, with the promise of more to come. The first time I heard those five songs I was in the car with Amy, and I couldn't even express how proud I was of her.

Since she moved to Atlanta, Amy's been able to gain exposure to a wide variety of people who have done pretty well at advancing the careers of independent musicians. That's how she ended up working with her producer, the amazing Brian Fechino, known also to many as a phenomenal guitarist. And I'll take a little bit of credit, although Brian may have had more influence, with getting Amy's name to the folks over at Rock By The Sea - I'd been suggesting her to them for a long time, and this year they booked her for their annual fundraiser festival. I was supposed to go down to Panama City Beach for the event, but between the new job and the trip to see my sister and her family that I have coming up, I just couldn't make it happen. But I got an email halfway through it from one of the organizers telling me that Amy was a hit, so I knew I couldn't wait to hear from her how it had gone.

Turns out, saying that she was a hit was an understatement. Apparently, Ken Block, the lead singer of Sister Hazel, was among many who fell in love with Amy at this event. He had seen her play and heard her music before, but apparently she went to a new level for him at this event. He gave her a shout out from stage during Sister Hazel's show. He led the crowd in getting her to play an encore during her show. Basically, he was her biggest fan, and made sure everyone knew it. Amy sold more merchandise than just about anyone at the event. She gained countless new fans. And all of this is just ahead of the release of the second of her five song EPs.

I am SO INCREDIBLY PROUD of Amy. Words don't even begin to express it. I told her I was going to start living vicariously through her, because only good things can come from here on out. The only way that I can really think of to show how proud I am of her is to tell you all to go buy her music!! The Volume 1 EP is available on itunes or you can order hard copies through her website. Volume 2 is coming soon (should be available for download at all the usual spots on May 15th) but until then you can listen to samples of the songs here or here. And she'll be touring soon, so keep your eyes open for dates in your area. And in general, because I have a feeling Amy's going places.

Winner winner chicken dinner!!

OK, I never win ANYTHING, so when I do, even when its something small, I get REALLY excited about it.

So the email I got from The Drop earlier made my day - they ran a giveaway on Facebook where if you posted a status message about their recent interview with the band Civil Twilight (to whose music I was recently introduced by none other than Ms. Krissie) you would be entered to win an autographed copy of their latest CD. I decided what the heck, you never know.

And I won! I'm super stoked to get their CD. Big thanks to Dan and Tiffany at The Drop. And if you're a music fan, check out their podcast - you can listen on the website (click the interview link above for an episode listing) or subscribe on iTunes. Do it!!

Thirty Days of Truth - Day 24

Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
I've been sitting on this for nearly 24 hours now, trying to decide how to make this one work. I think I've just about got it, but slightly modified.

Dear (Insert name of almost any ex who broke my heart at one point or another over the years here),

This is just to let you know how I've been doing in the years since you broke my heart. In a nutshell, I couldn't be happier with how things turned out. Hope life's been as good to you.

Love,
Me

1. When A Heart Breaks - Dave Barnes
2. Gravity - Sara Bareilles
3. Gotta Get Over You - Aslyn
4. Anyway - Amy Gerhartz
5. Speed Feels Better - Michael Tolcher
6. Where The Boat Leaves From - Zac Brown Band
7. I Do - Better Than Ezra
8. Hot Summer Night - Grace Potter and the Nocturnals
9. Sword and Shield - Sister Hazel
10. Simple As It Should Be - Tristan Prettyman

Thirty Days of Truth, Day 15

Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it


This one's easy. Music, hands down.


Plebe year at the Naval Academy, we weren't allowed to have music. No stereo, no walkman, no mp3s (they searched our computers), no clock radio... NOTHING. Getting caught with music got you written up, or got you "Extra Military Instruction," which was usually some torturous event filled with physical training, standing in uncomfortable positions with a rifle for long periods of time, or nameless other silly games. 

Most of us didn't make it the whole year without. We found ways to hide the files on our computers, or we found upperclass teammates/friends who would let us hang out in their rooms and/or hide our stuff. We went to concerts on the weekends. We sang in choirs. We found ways. 

There were some people who were somehow not so bothered by the lack of music. Me? I can barely make it through the day in my office, where we can't bring anything electronic. 


Never again will I even attempt to go any longer than absolutely necessary without music. No, thanks.