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These words are my diary screaming out loud

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

And... Done! On to the Next Project...

Well, not COMPLETELY done. I still have to do my final exam. But I am officially done with the curriculum for my master's degree!!

Last class ended this weekend, and I got confirmation that I have an A in the class. I couldn't manage straight As in undergrad, but damn if I didn't do it in grad school - I'm pretty proud of myself!

Of course, now that I don't have schoolwork to do, I need to find something else to do with the down time at work. I guess it will be wedding planning...

Seriously, anyone with any thoughts on how to start planning a wedding, I would LOVE to hear them. Because I have absolutely no idea where to begin.

Oh, and yes, we're fine after the Frankenstorm. Power stayed on, no trees down in the neighborhood or anything. We got VERY lucky. Thinking about all my NY/NJ/CT/RI friends who weren't as much.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Dear Sleep, I miss you.

Insomnia is a giant bitch.

But wait, you might be saying if you know me at all. Aren't you borderline narcoleptic? Why yes. Yes I am. But apparently, bouts of insomnia are not abnormal in people with narcolepsy, so why would they be abnormal in people with idiopathic hypersomnia too?

Since Friday night, I have not slept a full night. I came close on Tuesday night - I slept pretty well for about a 7 hour stretch, from 9-4ish. I thought maybe this was past. But then I woke up at 3 this morning. After going to sleep a little before 10. Which is still better than the 9:30-1ish that I got on Monday night. But this just is not working out for me. I don't do well on more than one or two sleep-deprived nights. I have things to be doing at work that I'm having trouble doing because I can't focus. 5 minutes after sitting down at my desk this morning, when the time still started with 7, all I could think about was when it would be time to go back to sleep.

I thought the first couple of nights were due to not having eaten well over the weekend. But I fixed that - I've been pretty well paleo the whole week, other than the Chinese food soup the other night when I just wanted to get in bed the minute I got home from work. That always works when I don't feel well. Not so much this time. I've tried taking Benadryl. I've tried taking melatonin. I've tried taking a warm shower before bed. I've tried everything I can think of short of locking myself in a different room with no cats and no Matt. Not that the cats wouldn't whine at the door and scratch and keep me awake either way. I'm at a loss at this point. Here's hoping I can get my focus together well enough to finish this paper in the next couple of days (it doesn't have to be perfect - a 66% would still keep me with an A in the class, but I'm pretty sure as long as I turn in a completed paper I'll have an A), then I can sleep this weekend. Keep your fingers crossed for me...

Monday, October 22, 2012

An incoherent post about stress.

I haven't even started planning this wedding yet and I'm already stressed out about it.

Not that its necessarily stressful, per se. Yesterday I went to my parents' house to show them and my youngest sister the ring. And I should have known what would follow - mom's questions about things I haven't even thought about yet, and thereby unintentionally stressing me out. And not about anything controversial or out of the ordinary, just about things that I had not yet really started thinking about. And combine that with not having had enough sleep last night... and one of the questions in particular hitting a nerve (not her fault at all)... Basically, while it was great overall to know that my parents are excited for me and are on board with the (VERY basic) initial plan we're looking at, it stressed me out hard core.

My goald really is to finish up this last class of my masters' degree (HOORAY!!) before I start planning, but all of her questions are stuck on my mind, and its distracting me a little bit from that paper. Which is fine on the one hand, because I don't really want to write the paper anyway, and I'm excited to start planning. But on the other hand, I really need to get it done so I can be finished with it!! 

Honestly, I'm a little bit overwhelmed with it all, because I don't really know what I'm doing. So that probably doesn't help. And I still haven't slept well, which just adds to it. And I started looking at wedding dresses online last night, and they're all strapless, which I do not want. See how much of this stress is self-inflicted?? Gah!!

I think I need to take a few deep breaths, get a good night's sleep the next few nights, finish up this paper, and take it a little at a time. Of course, that might well be easier said than done.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

He Asked...

Florida was absolutely amazing. Eventually I'll get around to posting a bunch of awesome pictures, but the most awesome picture of all needed to go up first...

Of course, I said yes :) No details yet, but obviously I'm pretty happy. More to follow...

Monday, October 08, 2012

Is it Florida time yet??

My phone said it was 39 degrees outside when I got up this morning. THIRTY NINE DEGREES. On October 8th.

On Wednesday we leave for Florida - sunny beaches and warm temperatures and friends and the wedding of two awesome people. I've been excited about it for ages, but thirty nine degrees plus hat, gloves, scarf, and warm coat this morning made me even more ready. Are we there yet??