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These words are my diary screaming out loud

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

A bit of reflection, and a little bit of rambling.

I'm slightly bored, so I was going through and reading some of my old posts, from when I first started this blog over a year ago, and I came across this one. I read it and it kinda made me sad, because I really was excited to leave last ship and come here, and start anew and hopefully have a great experience and leave the terrors of Cedric behind.

Now, 10 months or so later, I'm back to the negative. I don't enjoy myself, I dont like my job. (Well, I like the ORDO part, but I dont like the SWO part.) The only positive is the people I work with- we're all in this together, and we all share that attitude, so we help each other get through. As alone as I physically am (no roommate, no female peers), I'm never alone in things sucking around here. Kinda sad how comforting it can be. But even more sad to go back and read what I wrote the day I transferred and realize that its not what I hoped it would be. So now I find myself counting down to when I can get out of the Navy. Not down to days yet, but months anyways, and figuring out when, since I'll take shore orders, Ill actually be released from obligation. And I even have been thinking about what to do next- I refuse to be that guy with no plan when I get out, and even if Mom and Dad would let me live with them again, I wouldn't want to. Ive gotten to used to being on my own.

OK, thats enough of this ramble. I need to get my work done so I can get out of here at a decent hour today...

Monday, December 26, 2005

So this is Christmas...

Christmas was great. I was so glad to be able to go home and spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with the family. The whole family was there, except for my brother David who is at bootcamp right now, and my sister and brother in law came out from Utah. It was the first time I had seen them since they got married, but they got me a fondue pot, which is AWESOME, so Im excited to try that out. The day started with getting pounced on by Emily and Sophie at 630, which would have been OK had I slept well, but I didnt. But thats OK- its once a year, I can live with it. I drove back after dinner last night because Im on duty today, which is not fun, but its OK because tomorrow leave starts....

And Im headed to Texas. Im really excited to go- I get to go visit Amber, and hopefully see Kathy and Jen and Susan. I get to see family I havent seen in a while, and friends I havent seen in as long as 6 1/2 years, since the last time I went down to Corpus. And I get to eat Whataburger and Moody's, and any good Mexican food I can think of. And its warm. Not that its been cold up here, but its supposed to be 70 the whole time Im down there. And, most importantly, I dont have to be on this ship for 9 whole days. That, I think, is the kicker. I need the vacation...

I hope everyone had a great Christmas, see you in 2006!

Friday, December 23, 2005

Now THIS is funny.

So this nut job in New Mexico has managed to convince a judge to sign a restraining order to keep David Letterman away from her. Are you serious? Here's the article...

Now, maybe its just me, and of course I dont know Dave so I cant be certain, but Im guessing that neither he, nor Regis Philbin, nor Kelsey Grammar, have taken the time or made the effort to work some code words into their shows to communicate to this woman in New Mexico. I laughed my read end off. But hey, judge for yourself...

Thursday, December 22, 2005

I hate Christmas shopping.

I said this at quarters this morning, and the first thing I heard was my GM1 responding with "Oh, so its your fault." "Huh?" was my reply, and he continued on, saying "its your fault that theres so much traffic at the malls right now. You're that guy that waits until the very last minute to do their shopping." I can't deny it, he's right. The thing is, I'm usually not this bad. But between moving into the house, all the trips up north Ive been taking, weekend duty rotation, and not getting home until after dark most of the last 3 weeks, I just haven't had the time to do it. And if I have, Ive been so tired I've just wanted to go home and crash. So now, its the 22nd, the last day I have to shop before Christmas before I go home, and I have no idea what Im getting for my Secret Santa. I got one of our female GM3's, and Ive already gotten her this lip gloss set, but I know thats not enough, so I want to get her something else. But what? She lives on the ship, so that really limits what I can do. I don't really know that much about her, other than she's really smart, 25 years old, and has a degree in psychology. But she's a Gunner's Mate... so maybe something with guns? Oh I hate this...

Monday, December 19, 2005

Apparently that means Im next...

This was me on Saturday.

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Obviously, this was a wedding. My friend Cynthia, who was one of my favorite plebes in the glee club when I was a firstie, got married. It made me feel really old, but I was thrilled for her. She was the most un-nervous bride I have ever seen, and she is really and truly happy with Drew. They make an adorable couple, and the wedding was a blast. But when it came to that whole throwing the bouquet part, I wanted to kill her. I stood front and center, because thats never where the flowers go, but this time, sure enough... she didnt throw them that hard. So I got it. Im slightly mortified at this point, but hey, its all good. So then it comes time for Drew to do the garter. He throws it once, it hits the ceiling and some 10 year old catches it. The emcee says no way, makes him throw it again, and again it bounces off the ceiling into an even younger kids hands. Now I dont mind dancing with kids, but again, the emcee said do it over. Finally one of the Ensigns caught it, and I found out why. He didnt do the traditional dance for the guy who catches the garter and the girl who catches the bouquet. Nope. He does the get the garter on her and thats the end. Hence the picture....

The wedding was fun, though. While I am NOWHERE near ready to be next, it was a nice thought for a second. I just hope that when I get to that point, Im as happy as Cynthia is. Corny sounding, I know, but hey, what I can say, its the truth.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Out with the old and in with the new...

As 2005 comes to a close, there are many things that I am sad to leave behind from this year, but also many things that I will be forcefully pushing out the door. This year I have made new friends, reconnected with old ones, bought a house, lived in New England for (hopefully) the last time, and transferred ships. Sometimes I have been myself, and other times I have been like another person entirely. As the new year rings in, I have decided that my goal (I dont really want to call it a New Years Resolution, but I guess thats kinda what it is), is to remember that who I am is far more important than who anyone else wants me to be. As long as I can remember that...

On a lighter note, I heard this on the radio the other day, and then it appeared in my inbox this morning. And now, without further ado: The New Rules of 2006.

New Rule: Stop giving me that freaking pop-up ad for There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them. Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out of a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout? Luckily, it was only a finger! If it were a whole hand, Congress would have voted to keep it alive.

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky turds.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbreadcappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your butt. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes play billiards was just too exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that.It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember that the reason something was a television show in the first place is because the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your webcam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.

New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Another one down

The bane of many a sailor's existence: the PRT. Ever since I have been in the Navy I have dreaded it. Not just because they put me on a scale and broadcast to the world my weight and inaccurately measured body fat percentage, although that right there is enough to give any normal girl a complex. Not because its a career ender if you fail it. Mostly, its just a large pain in the butt. The only good thing about it was making the discovery earlier this year that if I swim it I can score higher, and as an added bonus, my knee doesnt swell up to the size of a softball. So thats what Ive been doing. Of course, its still a pain, but a lot less of one for me.

The problem, as far as I can see, is how we do it. First of all, the standards are set expecting 10% to fail. It says it right in the instruction. So already we are setting people up for failure. Then when we do fail, we have this Fitness Enhancement Program we are supposed to put people on, yet we rarely actually allow them to do it. Cant let them out of work, or were underway... physical readiness is just not important, at least not in the surface community. In other communities they schedule it into the work day. Not us (in general). Find your own time. Awesome.

OK, Im done with my semi-annual rant now. Im done, I did just fine, til next time...

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

I missed my bed.

Last night, for the first time in almost 8 months, I got to sleep in my very own bed. It was WONDERFUL! Granted, when I woke up for work this morning I almost tripped over about 17 boxes, and I cant find half of the clothes that I had before my stuff came, and somehow managed to get packing tape stuck to my sock 4 differnet times, but still... I have my stuff back, and I have my bed. Thats the important thing. Now its to the unpacking. I hate unpacking. I will throw away a ton of stuff, but it will be a pain in the process.

My Army-Navy party Saturday went fairly well, other than the technical difficulties with the cable. I learned some lessons, though:
1. Boys do not listen. If I tell you what I did to try to fix my cable, you calling your cable guy buddy and him telling you to do exactly what I already did and having the lady on the phone basically ask me why Im calling again... not so great. I already told you that didnt work.
2. Brandon is not a cable guy. See above.
3. All I want for Christmas is a guy who wont play games. To elaborate a little... If you say "Ill call you later," call me later. If you dont intend on calling me later, say talk to you later, or see ya later, or nothing at all. Cuz if you say youre going to call me, Im not gonna just keep trying to call you.

So yeah. Things are going alright in my world. I need to get my house unpacked. I need to get a Christmas tree, and I need a dining room table. But in all, I think Im pretty well set.