Second Chances

A few years back, I met an asshole. Sorry, there's no nicer word for it. He was a belligerent drunk who threatened my and a friend's well-being after we made a joke that he didn't like. He said he'd never hit a girl before but he didn't have a problem doing it. He had to be physically restrained, almost had the cops called on him, and still hears about it from both people who were there that night and people who were not - apparently the story got around. For the purpose of this post, let's just call him Guy.

Guy is a musician, and is in the same circle with many musicians that I know and enjoy, so I'm always bummed when one of them comes to town with him, because frankly, he made me nervous. So I never went to those shows, but never said anything.

This week, one of those musicians came to town with Guy, and I was super bummed because it had been a while. So I tweeted that it was too bad he was playing with Guy, because it had been to long since I'd seen him but bad things happened last time I was in the same room with Guy. He replied, asking what kind of bad things, and I told him. He said he'd be my security guard, and I kinda blew him off. But not long after, I got a tweet from Guy himself - turns out they were in the car together.  He offered to put my name on the list, said that things change, and we should move past it. I told him he makes me nervous, but I'd heard that he's a different person now, so I'd be willing to give him a shot.

So I showed up, and there I was on the list. I didn't get a chance to talk to Guy before he went on stage, but after his performance I went up, thanked him for the ticket, and we chatted. He was actually pretty cool, and I could tell that he was making the effort to make amends, even if he never did actually say he was sorry for what happened that night. I made a comment that he probably didn't remember it anyways because he had been so drunk, which is when he told me he still hears about it.

Even before this incident, I wasn't a huge fan of Guy's music, so its not like I'm going to become superfan or anything like that. But I've always believed that people deserve second chances (and third and fourth and fifth... some people tell me I'm too forgiving), and that's even more true when someone puts forward the effort to right a wrong. So what this means for me is I don't have to miss shows just to avoid this guy anymore, and that's a bit of a relief. Its the little things, you know? Insignificant, perhaps, but a minor stressor that I had control over. And that's always a pretty good feeling.