I used to write music all the time. I always had a notebook with me, or scraps of paper to write down lyrics I was thinking. I had books full of full songs, or random lyrics that I wanted to eventually return to and finish.
Somewhere, in the last couple of years, I lost that part of me. It's been a long time since I really wrote. I don't know what happened. May it was intimidation when I started dating my husband because he's such a talented musician. But he's not a lyricist or a singer, so why would I be intimidated? Maybe because I'm unsure that I'd ever be as talented as him? Maybe it's seeing some of my friends do so well with their music, and I don't think I'll ever get to where they are? Maybe I've just lost my touch? Maybe I'm just getting old, and can't find the words anymore? Maybe my happiness with husband has killed the pain that I used to draw on so often for lyrics?
Whatever it is, I'm hoping that it's finally going away. Husband has been bugging me for ages to write with him. We did, once, when we first started dating. I can't even remember the words to that song, or where I wrote them down. But the other day, drawing on the pain of some things that he's currently going through, and doing what he always does, picking up the guitar, he played a line that immediately gave me chills. Just two chords, one progression in the middle of a line that he was messing with, and I just stopped, and said I want to write to that. The power of just those two chords, with no lyrics to them yet, and not even paying attention to the rest of what was happening, it just struck something in me.
Last night, I finally said OK, no TV, just you, the guitar, me, a pen, and a notebook. Let's get writing. And we did. I don't think it's done yet, but we have a scratch recording on my phone, and probably a bridge and maybe one more verse to write, but it's coming along, and so far I'm really excited about it.
I hope this is what I needed to start writing again. Music is such a big part of my life, and writing has been my primary mode of expression since I was 12 years old. I've never been able to accompany myself or truly realize what I imagine my songs to be. But now I have no excuse - my husband is one of the most talented guitarists and writers I've ever met. DUH!
So here's to more writing, some recording, and renewing my love of the art. Wish me luck - both with the big picture and being able to read this later: