sub header

These words are my diary screaming out loud

Friday, March 11, 2005

Moving On update #1

Well, its been a little over a week since I decided I was done with Stupid Marine, and so far I think I'm doing alright. Two days after the aforereferenced incident, he did finally call, leaving a lengthy excuse on my voicemail that did not have an ounce of apology in it. My first reaction was what, it takes your phone two days to charge after the battery dies? Going Zack Morris style or something? But thanks to the help of Molly and our friend Terra, who listened to the voice mail with me when I put it on speakerphone, I have not spoken to him. I have not called him, and he has not called back.

I am proud of myself in many regards. He has been messing with me for years, and its time to move on and put him out of my life so he can stop hurting me. There's another part of me, though, and understandably I think, that is just hurting over it. The disappointment is so real- when he was in Iraq we talked about how he didn't write at all while I was on deployment, and I made it clear that it could all be fine and dandy while he was over there but the minute he got back I was stopping with the effort. Maybe he didn't believe me. I think that he really must have though yeah right, she's never done that before, why would she do it now. Well, guess what. I win. I did it, and I'm week one into life without Joe, and I'm doing just fine. For now. Im sure it will get harder, because at some point, somewhere down the line, he's going to call, or he's going to e-mail, either in mass or individual form. It is going to take every ounce of strength I have not to answer that call, or to hit delete on the email. But I think I can. In fact, I know I can.

1 comment:

Mollina said...

You can do it. I believe in you. Men are stupid, not just boys, b/c they don't ever know what they're missing until it is gone. It's Joe's loss!